Sorry, no hummingbirds today. But you still have my musing, a thought that has been rumbling around in my head for a while but doesn’t fit into the normal story format of my blog. Instead of hummingbirds, today you get pain.
I can only share what I muse upon…
Pain does many things to us, but let’s be honest for a moment and admit something: most of what pain produces in us is not worth repeating. Or maybe it’s just me in which pain mostly results in a string of whines and profanities and pity parties.
One vital thing pain does do is strip us down to the core of our being. We come face to face with a question, and we aren’t able to ignore it any more:
Who are you? What is most important to you?
Christine Miserandino describes why this is in a beautiful way in what has come to be known as the Spoon Theory. If you haven’t read this, you should.
When we are in pain, we only have so much energy to give to our day. We have to decide what matters the most, and do only that. This has been a painful week for me, due to some injuries from my seizures. Amazing what happens when someone the height of the Green Giant hits the deck.
I realized at the end of the day three things matter the most to me. I self-identify in these three ways:
Child of God
Child of God was unsurprising to me. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived the things our family has gone through even in the last year without the confidence that my God is for me, and He is mighty. The same with family. Though I define family a little more broadly than relations by blood or marriage, family means the world to me. Without those I love and who love me, I would be a sad sack indeed.
The last one surprised me though. A lot. Writer…really? But here I am, standing at the highest counter in my kitchen so I can type. Dealing with the pain from an unintentional twist to the right, or an accidental lift of the left shoulder. Because writing is now a core part of who I am.
Certainly pain sucks. There is no way around that. And shame on those who say God brings pain to get our attention. There’s a part of me that would like to get their attention…but I don’t let that part of me out very often (he’s a troublemaker).
But let’s not miss the chance to consider because of pain the core essence of who we are. It just might change the way we view our days once we feel better. I know this is true of me.