Most of us do not work by ourselves. If we do, we still interact with real live human beings, whether on the phone or in person. And each one of us can probably think of that one (or more) person in our work lives who is just negative. Every day. No matter what.
I was reintroduced in Ms. Negative this evening for work, and realized I was being pulled down into the doldrums with her. I didn’t have to be, and neither do you. Here are 6 ideas to counteract negativity in the office by exerting positive energy.
Be excellent at your job
Whether you are a window washer, a customer service agent, or a CPA, be the absolute best you can be in every aspect of your job. More than that, strive for improvement as often as possible. Good work creates positive energy for many people.
Give sincere compliments
We all love to be told something great about ourselves, so why not be the one giving positive feedback? Even Oscar the Grouch looked great in green. If you give thoughtful and honest compliments to your co-workers and customers, they will remember you.
Listen, really listen
We live in a world where we often know next to nothing about our co-workers, and we think that’s okay. I once worked at a company for 5 years, and the owner never once remembered I had 4 kids, not 5. He didn’t bother to really listen to what was happening in my life, and so often we are the same. Rather than treating, “How are you?” as “Hello,” let’s actually ask how someone is doing. Then listen to the answer.
Offer to pray for them
Truthfully, this can get you in trouble if you don’t do it judiciously and intelligently. It’s not likely appropriate to ask your boss how you can pray for her right after your job performance review. But don’t be afraid to offer to pray for your co-workers either. It could be as simple as, “You seem down lately. Is there something I can pray for you about?” And then, if they tell you something, ask to pray for them right then and there. It makes a huge difference.
Be generous
Whether it’s coffee or lunch or donuts or smiles or jokes or anything else, be generous. Luke 6:38 tells us “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full–pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” If you want a more positive workplace, you start by being generous with yourself.
Ask God to give you specific insight
Our God is in the business of communicating with those He loves, and He loves you. So be bold in your prayers to God, saying something like this: “Lord, would you show me something specific I can do to be a blessing to Bob this week? He seems frustrated, and I want to show him Your love.” God answers that type of prayer with specificity.
What would you add to this list?
These are all powerful, perhaps the most important is “asking God to give you specific insights.” People all around us are hurting and acting out their resentment and it would be easy to just shut out difficult people, but then you would be missing an opportunity to help someone who is suffering. I will try to be more seeking today and less presumptuous.
People comment on the fact that I smile so much. One student told me, the other day, she was attracted to my smile and calm spirit. Everyday, I ask the Lord to prepare my responses to any situations that arise. Great post.
Great post, Chris with some practical suggestions. Pray for that negative person. You can probably guess all they were around is negativity. You may be the one light in their otherwise dark world.
Really appreciated this. Will share with my coworkers….many of whom are Christians.
Great list! #1 is very important! However #3 is striking a chord with me today. I’ve noticed there are people that I don’t share with when they say “how are you” because I know they aren’t listening. It doesn’t bring us closer together. It’s a reminder that I need to focus on listening and being open for others. Have a fabulous day!
Great list Chris. I can not think of anything to add to your list.
Love this list. # 3 is the one that I need to work on the most. I often find myself thinking so hard of my repay that I don’t fully listen. Thanks for sharing,
Amy,
#3 is a struggle for me too. I really love the sultry sound of my own voice, even if it’s in my own mind while someone else is talking. My wife is teaching me a lot about how to be a great listener, and how much value that communicates to others.
Thanks Pamela!
Thanks for commenting Lauren. I notice the same thing myself. I actually ask, “Do you want to know, or is this just saying hello?” It’s not (that) rude, and helps folks understand where I am coming from as well.
Awesome!
I am still learning this. It’s a part of my journey away from selfishness really. Only the selfish person (ME) doesn’t consider the struggles and battles in the other person’s life when communicating with them.
Shelley,
I’ve never had that problem, being told I smile too much. I am envious of the joy you carry
Funny you say that Kathleen. I was about ready to post this without this last suggestion. Then I stopped, and listened myself, then heard the Lord quietly suggest this one. It really floored me, and it is NOT something I am very good at. I am reminded each time I do actually do this that our Lord’s heart is so much bigger, so much kinder, so much greater than our own little selves.
I think it’s easy to be caught up in what’s going on around us and instead of responding with grace we end up reacting.
#3 and #5 are the most pragmatic for me personally, though I like them all.
I have to really work at being present and listening to the other person. And offering to help or trying to serve them is kind of what I feel we are here for. Thanks Chris!
Don’t forget about applying these to the people above you as well. I often find that those at the top get much less positive feedback and thanks, and are very appreciative when they receive it.
Thanks for stopping by Sutton! Of the one I listed, I struggle the most with listening as well.
That is such a good point, Tammy — We cannot forget to show those we love the most the same care we show our co-workers
That is very true! I wasn’t clear in my comment. I was actually talking about making sure that you give feedback and thanks to good leaders you work for. I’ve been amazed at how receptive they were to hearing a thank you or positive feedback from me, when they often only hear the negative stuff. But, you family needs your support too!
Ha, I was partially illiterate actually. You were very clear. I read your first sentence ending as “the people you love”. Wow, I need some sleep.
You are so right. I actually go out of my way to try and be an encouragement for those who lead me.