Warning: This post contains some graphic content. If you are easily offended by sexual references or racial slurs, you may want to skip this post. I hope you won’t, because it may change the way you view people around you.
A clearly autistic man preaches the Gospel to everyone walking by, addressing pedestrians with both love and judgment. He ignores the derisive sneers of his mobile congregation.
A woman tries to sell me aspirin for a dollar a pill, then sits on the bench and starts masturbating.
A businesswoman with her children gives three dollars to a war veteran, and has it thrown back at her with an angry retort: “I defended your freedom! That’s all you’ve got?”
A black man in a suit scoots away from another black man who appears homeless and gets accosted: “You think you’re better than me? You think I’m the ni***r? Sucka, you’re just a ni***r in a white man’s suit!”
Welcome to my first day in the world of Phoenix public transportation.
The preacher has some mental issues, but also has a bigger heart than I do on most days. I envy his passion for evangelism and wish I had his boldness, while also feeling sorry for him because of the rejection he is seeing.
The woman with the aspirin needs money and relationship with other human beings, but got only judgmental looks from everyone around her. Including me.
The war veteran feels under-appreciated for the great service he gave to my country, and at least on this day allowed his anger to steal a small blessing in his life.
The businesswoman has to explain to her children that sometimes generosity is not rewarded. I overhear her mumbled explanation, and watch her kids stare at the veteran in confusion.
The black businessman may or may not feel like he’s better than the apparently homeless man, but gets yelled at either way. I observe him unsuccessfully attempt to defuse the situation, then shake his head and walk away.
The other black man feels slighted, as though he was not enough in the eyes of another man…and probably not for the first time. Indignation strangles his heart and he goes on the offensive. In the end, he only looks foolish.
Most of these problems exceed my own struggles with my seizures, or my daughter’s health concerns. I couldn’t help but feel my heart torn to shreds with the struggles of those surrounding me.
I had the chance to step into their problems. To be a source of hope. To give of myself. To make a difference in someone else’s life.
So what did I do, you ask? Who did I serve? Whose life did I invest in?
I did nothing but watch. I served nobody. I invested in my own life by writing a blog post.
So I sat still and did nothing.
The only good news in this story is that the Phoenix public transportation system will be there for me again tomorrow.
Maybe writing about them is the best possible thing you could do.
That is some deep stuff Chris. I would dare say you did do something, though not tangibly that day. You didn’t stuff the things away in your mind to ignore and act like they weren’t relevant to you. Instead, you boldly declared your “inaction” and longing to have known what to do that might make a difference. You did what God called YOU to do, and that includes writing. This kind of wordsmithing is what makes you such a valuable write in my book.
The world is full of hurting people. I miss a lot when I drive everywhere. You can write and pray Chris, as you don’t want to grab the dog’s ear.
“Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.” Proverbs 26:17
A beautiful and disruptive post that will stay with me, Chris!
Thanks Mike. I was really disturbed out of my quiet middle class suburban life with the reality that I am not by far the only one with issues. My issues might not even be that big of a deal, in the grand scheme of things. This is particularly poignant as I sit on the bus, typing on my Mac Book Air, using my iPhone as a hotspot. Time to adjust my priorities, perhaps.
I do not remember ever reading that verse before. Wow, what great imagery. I definitely don’t want to be the dog ear puller. Thanks for the perspective Pamela
“Boldly declaring inaction” and writing about this initially feels a lot like doing nothing. I may need to reevaluate the ways God intends for me to respond.
Wow, thanks for the supreme compliments, both here and on G+
My wife said the same thing, and so did my mother-in-law. I need to really consider this some and see where I land.
Chris, you are called to write. And writing about this situation is a good way to attention to the matter. These people are not just in Phoenix, but everywhere – even in small towns. And, like you, I probably would have done nothing – not even write about it.
I don’t disagree. I know I am called to write. I wonder if there is more, if maybe writing is the start of something bigger.
For example, I met Laura from Strings for Hope in Nashville a short while ago. She came face to face with poverty, and created her organization (http://www.stringsforhope.com/index.html). Tennessee has never been the same.
Maybe I need to be thinking more like Laura
Chris, this voice man, the one you bring to us all here, yeah, it’s needed bro! Keep swinging like this! We need much much more of this. I agree with Christa, you have indeed done much by reflecting light towards this space, not only in yourself but also around us all!
Dude…thanks so much! That means a lot coming from you!
Sharing the stories IS SOMETHING. Don’t ever forget that. You might want to beat yourself up, but don’t. You are using your gifts and it sure sounds like you will engage more next time. Remember, “some always beats none.”
Chris, I’ve worked downtown for fourteen years, and have never once shared a story of what I’ve seen. What you’ve done here, rather than become cynical and jaded, is to bring some much needed light.
Dear Chris
Oh, I live in a country where everything that goes wrong gets blame on Apartheid which was abolished twenty years ago! Yes, dear friend, our world lies in the evil one.
Blessings XX
Mia
Mia,
I actually did not know you were not in the US. I think all societies like to blame the government. It is moments like this that make me realize something — we hold the responsibility at the end of the day. Not any government official. We can change things in our little sphere. If we choose to do so.
Chad,
I truly appreciate the perspective you are giving me here. Bringing light is a good step, isn’t it? The first of many, I hope.
So true Jim. Some beats none. I need to figure out how to move forward with some more too though.
This is such a powerful post, Chris. Far from ‘doing nothing’, you have succeeded in raising awareness, seeing life through several perspectives, used your gifts as a writer to describe the scene before you, and made us all think again about our own responses. Those things alone are so worthwhile. Anything else depends very much on what you feel God may be calling you to do, say or react to. But please don’t dismiss or underplay what you have already done. No matter how it may feel, it’s more than most could have achieved in the circumstances. We cannot all do everything, but our seemingly insignificant contribution counts. Each drop of water adds to the ocean of grace.
I think you did just fine. The most important thing is you noticed the problem. You mentioned in your email wondering what you should do next time you are in a similar situtation. I think you might consider interviewing one of them. Another way to build awareness and if you get contact information someone that can help them might actually read your post. Just don’t get in the middle of anything that might cause harm to you.
I wouldn’t have done anything either, but to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have thought about it after leaving that bus. That shows a marked difference between you and me, and what I think is the rest of the world.
The thing I love most about you Joy is that every single time you comment here, there is a sentence that makes me consider my life differently. “Each drop of water adds to the ocean of grace.” Wow!
I wasn’t planning to offer counseling to the two black men arguing. That would not have ended well. I love the idea of interviewing one of them though. Really get into their hearts, learn their story, and share it.
To be fair, I wrote this post while sitting on the bus that day. Otherwise, I may not have thought of it either. I think this is part of the job of the creative — to capture moments in the moment they happen, and show the world what they see.
The fact that you didn’t bury your gift Chris but shared is awesome. You’ve done what Dorthea Lange did in the great depression. By photographing the poor and those so deeply affected by the depression others were spurned to help.That is no small thing. Thanks dude for sharing your wonderful gift.
Love that photography point, Troy!
I am learning through the responses to this point that writing about it is not equivalent to nothing. Thank you for the comparison to photography. That really connects with me.
Thanks Chris don’t ever diminish the importance of sharing your gifts. We are called to use them. Even if that’s a blog post, photograph, a song, heck even a smile. It’s all important.
Sadly, sometimes the only thing we can do is watch and then later write about it. What else is there to do? You can’t help someone who is ungrateful, suffering from an illness, or feels insecure with their place in life.
As Joan said, even though you stood there and did nothing, sharing the incident here at least brings some attention to the situation. May not change the world but at the very least it might result in some looking for ways they can help.
Those are all good points Kim. Hey, thanks for stopping by and commenting, by the way.
I struggle with where to draw the line for where my action should be. I am constrained sometimes by my faith, so I am left uncertain on where a decent expectation for myself might be.
Chris, this could very well be the start of something bigger. Pray and follow God’s leading. He won’t lead you in the wrong direction. Blessings!
Chris- each of us have the opportunity to engage humanity daily. Too often I stay in my safe tidy box,. and miss the chance to be Jesus with skin on to another human. You at least saw those people. You noticed. You choose to look beyond what was on the surface and in doing so have issued an unspoken challenge to us- to me… thank you.
Nancy
http://www.simplyabundantlife.com
…and a spoken challenge for myself too. I hope and expect that someone will ask me how my bus rides are going. Thanks for commenting and for stopping by too
As far as I can tell, Chris, you are a herald of some crucial Gospel Truths wrapped in the messy package of your own personal truth. We all have these messes, but all too often just go about our day.to.day with no conscious thought toward The Why… the bigger picture God had intended for that day, circumstance or person He brought our way. What better mode than this raw reflection from your heart to allow us as your readers, and fellow pilgrims, a chance to examine where we may be missing opportunity to be “Jesus with skin on” as I recently heard someone say. And as you said, The only good news in this story is that the Phoenix public transportation system will be there for me again tomorrow – Sounds like you didn’t do Nothing. Sounds like you opened your heart and mind, and let Jesus begin to do a Whole Lot O’ Something!)
WOW. I just finished reading through the other comments, and wish I had done so before commenting. I don’t THINK I’m a rabble-rouser; either way, I have no desire to pose as one here. HOWEVER a couple things came to me. First I thought, “Aw, man I hate when I feel some hint of discontent over a situation; like I’m missing something but can’t get a handle on it…and then it feels as though everyone is trying to let me off the hook!” Next i recognized no one, including myself, was trying to send “Forget what God may be saying; don’t worry about it; live your life; what can one guy do?” kind of message. Third, I rationalized, “Anyway, I was just speaking from my heart!” which rationalization was immediately followed by something God has spoken to me over and over the past year or so, “Yes, but remember what we know about our human heart… The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Lol!) SO I landed on the following:maybe this is all really just touching on something in MY OWN life; and I can tell I will be carrying it in my spirit as an open file, for anything more He wants to add…drag.drop.copy.paste, whatever!) AND finally that I’ll be praying He will do the same for you. Maybe it WAS an isolated moment to heighten our awareness. On the other hand, as you mentioned over and over here, maybe it’s something God will define for you as only a first step in a beautiful construction project of Spirit,connecting with the broken soul of a culture.
p.s. SORRY to wax long here:)
A great sensitive post Chris that raises awareness of the pain that exists in the hearts of people. Every comment I read was just as beautiful and there is nothing new for me to add. Sorry I haven’t been around. Pain works differently on me…I hide until I feel better. Just beginning to come out, only because all or you are amazing people who care and give of themselves in wonderful ways. Bless you Chris for all you do!
I definitely agree with the messy package part 🙂
Thanks for calling me back to simplicity. Watch, listen & respond to Jesus
Never apologize for sharing your heart, at least not on this site. I enjoy seeing people process their thoughts. It adds to the community I hope to build here, together with you and others.
I did have some initial sense from some comments that I was being told it’s okay to only write, but I realized that my future response is a me & God thing…and maybe not something I end up blogging about.
I like the imagery of God adding, dragging, dropping, copying, pasting things into your spirits. What a neat thought — My heart is not a read-only file to God.
Katina,
So very happy to see you here again. I have missed you. Between your comments here and the FB groups we share, I feel as though we will be old friends whenever we do meet face to face.
I will keep praying for you, that God would limit or remove your pain
Thanks Chris; I’m still pretty new to all this online community… Stuff;) so I really appreciate the encouragement. In fact, I’ve found that all over the place. People are so generous! And yes, NOT A READ-ONLY FILE TO GOD. Exactly!!
Truth is, I have only had this site for about 6 months. I am pretty new to it as well. I am glad to hear you’ve been on the receiving end of so much generosity and kindness.
I should qualify, perhaps, that’s coming from the writers! I’m barely beginning to dip my toe in the water on the writing side myself, so I’m SURE I have all sorts of varied experiences coming my way once my readership starts to grow…which I’m believing in…by Faith!)
Chris, A simple thank you to a war veteran should be enough. Too often, war veteran believe they deserve more for the sacrifice they made, but they made it willingly and of their own volition. While I agree that we (society) probably needs to take care of its veterans better, they should not be allowed to demand anything.
I was a bit floored by his response, but I don’t want to pretend to understand the sacrifice and pain he endured either. I generally agree with you though.
Perhaps simply writing this post will turn out to be a form of “doing something.”
Only time will tell if this is the beginning of something bigger