I remember what life was like before seizures came into the picture of our family. It was peaceful. We had hope. We knew that God was for us. There was no question about His active involvement in our lives. Fast forward ten years, and it feels like a distant memory. As if I remember someone else’s …
Epilepsy and Guilt
Everyone in my family feels guilty because of my epilepsy. Often the first thing I hear from someone once I begin to recover from a seizure is, “I’m sorry.” They apologize for not catching me in time when I fall. For not noticing more quickly I was seizing. For the embarrassment I must feel over the …
Not Always Hope, Not Never Hope, But Sometimes Hope
I have had a few people ask me why the name of this blog is Sometimes Hope. “If we are called to trust God all the time,” the question starts, “why isn’t your title Always Hope or maybe Keeping the Hope?” I even struggled with this a bit myself. After some thought, here are three reasons I can only …
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When God Sucker Punches You
I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing. The medical diagnosis was shocking. Something I was not prepared for emotionally. I’d just been sucker punched. I could look back on the last few years and see how the symptoms fit what had been happening in my life. That didn’t mean it made sense for me …
Why I’m Proud to Wear My Superman Shirt
Photo Credit: Klobetime (Creative Commons) It was a hot summer Arizona day. The smell of barbecue burgers was making everyone wish it was lunchtime already. The joyful screams of children playing in the swimming pool filled the air as the adults lounged twenty feet away, enjoying the respite and the …
There is No Plan Q, Not Even a Plan B
I have been dealing with epilepsy for 4 months, averaging 2 seizures a day. I expend energy every day trying to find the imaginary pattern to my seizures. Do I have a seizure when I sleep less? Does it happen when I sleep in too late? What if I drink too much milk? What about coffee in the …
Lost Memories
Part of the struggle with being epileptic is that memories just disappear sometimes. No warning. No pattern. No rhyme. No reason. No hope of regaining them. They are just gone. Like a very targeted amnesiac. This can be infuriating, especially for a person like myself who (used to) pride …
Ghosts of Christmas Past, Hope For Christmases Future
I was probably eight years old, and we were at my uncle’s house for Christmas. All of us kids were in my cousin’s room. I wish I could say we were having a great time, anticipating who would get what presents, or when the hot chocolate would be ready, or if we were going to get a visit from Santa …
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What is NORMAL?
I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to the word normal, for a few reasons. I have well-meaning individuals in my life who keep asking me, “When will you stop having seizures and get back to normal?” I have to remind them that I am an epileptic, and this IS normal for me. To them, normal seems …
I am not Kobe Bryant and neither are you
I play basketball (technically), but not at the level Kobe does. I am also not Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; as a matter of fact, I have no musical talent at all. I am not even Mark Wahlberg, who has possibly the most spectacular abs in the history of mankind. Odds are that you are none of these people …
Adele fatigue, seizure fatigue
I hate to admit it, but we have watched several singing competition shows in our house – American Idol (first season only), The Voice, The Sing-Off, and we even tried Duets. Maybe I should not admit this in the blogosphere, but I have enjoyed most of the episodes, even with the knowledge that this …
God Doesn’t Really Mean…Wait, What Does it Say in the Greek?
As a Bible college graduate, I learned early in life that sometimes the best way to gain deeper understanding of Scripture was to review it in the original language. It’s also a nifty way to try and avoid obedience. “What does it say in the Greek?” then was a commonly heard phrase in my dorms, as we …
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