I have never been good friends with normal, for more reasons than I can count. Pain and disappointment, these I’m well-acquainted with.
More recently, I have been learning how to build hope into my life. I’m learning how to hold tight to my good God who never abandons me, even when it seems He is silent.
As a child, I knew what it was to live in fear (you can read more about that here). I won an award in school for writing an autobiographical story called Reign of Terror. One of the judges asked me if I was seeing a counselor.
I am also familiar with the confusion and pain of a life interrupted by an illness. I have had occasional seizures for my entire life. Sometimes, my seizures are epileptic. More recently, I also have started having psychogenic nonepileptic seizures (a fancy way to say my physicians don’t know why I have seizures). Some days, I lose hours of my day. Other times, the steel trap that used to be my mind…leaks like a sieve.
Every day, my wife and I are reminded in some way that our family will never be normal.
My wife and I have three kids in the home, and another who is chasing his dreams as a young adult. My daughter is epileptic, and has had over 4000 seizures in her life. She is also a high-functioning autistic, with increasing frustration as she begins to realize she is not like her peers.
But we don’t give in. We don’t give up. We don’t let the pain and aggravation, the injuries and difficulties that are part of our normal keep us from living a full life.
So we write and share here – with you and for you.
What I Believe
I BELIEVE I don’t know it all. Feel free to remind me of this fact.
I BELIEVE every person should be treated with dignity, whether or not I agree with him or her. Each person is uniquely created in the image of God, and this extends beyond anyone aligning with my political views, theology, or favorite pizza.
I BELIEVE the God of the Bible is good, every day, all the time, no matter what. I embrace the tension of a loving God who cares deeply for me, even while I live in the midst of a clearly busted world.
I BELIEVE God heals, but our world is broken. This means some are healed instantly (sometimes), some find healing through surgery (sometimes), medication controls our medical conditions (sometimes), and sometimes the pain stays through the end our lives. I also know in the deepest part of my soul that we will have no pain in heaven.
I BELIEVE no single condition can describe or define any person. My daughter is autistic and epileptic, but she is also SO MUCH MORE. Anyone who cannot see that, does not see my daughter. And so it is with all of us.
I BELIEVE the church should be on the forefront of establishing inventive, practical, and powerful ways to include the chronically ill in all aspects of a community. Much more than wheelchair ramps, the church is where the fibromyalgia sufferer can find a place, the epileptic can lead a small group, the MS sufferer is loved unconditionally.
YOU might BELIEVE differently than me. You’re welcome here. In fact, we need you to add to the discussion!